It’s actually a unique feeling. One that I can’t find the right words to describe.
Now when I’m literally put in the same situation that used to trigger my compulsive negative feelings, I am calm. I don’t cry or get angry. I don’t feel like I should give up my life. I feel at peace.
It’s not that I’m indifferent or emotion less. But those feelings don’t hurt, at all. Rather I see myself dealing with them practically. This growth and maturity I see in myself is a weirdly good feeling. I’m a better person now.
This has made me be less bitter about the past. I couldn’t have grown the way I have and saw things the way I see them now if I wouldn’t have been put into those dark pitfalls.
Everyone suffers. But I want to give others hope that things do get better and we shouldn’t give up.
The subtlety of healing and recovery can only be savoured if we pay attention to it.